Steven “TwoSkies” Garrett, MA MS
When I was an undergraduate student in nutritional sciences at Central Washington University I led the foundation of a peer nutrition counselling service in the student health centre. This service still exists. At the time I weighed 172 lbs.
This process was facilitated by a professor from the psychology department. Participating senior nutrition students were enrolled in a year long counselling practicum. Through our training, it became abundantly clear to all of us that obesity is not just a matter of thermodynamics, calories in versus calories out, it is a psychological issue related to how we feel about ourselves.
Behavioural counselling for someone with obesity is challenging because nutrition involves many behaviours and decisions throughout each day. Each little behaviour is informed by how we feel about our lives. Eating gives us a dopamine rush and short-term soothing from whatever is happening or perhaps more appropriately whatever has happened in our lives. Overeating often stems from childhood trauma.
While thermodynamics is not the ultimate cause it is the proximal one. It matters. So physical movement is critical but the necessary motivation is also related to how we feel about ourselves. We tend to take care of the things that we love, including our bodies.
Self-love arises from the healing that we undertake to overcome the traumas in our lives. Self-love leads to a healthy self image. A healthy self image leads to self care. Self care leads to healthy bodies. I have seen this in my life. I had a short, bad marriage where I swelled up to 232 lbs. That is quite a lot of weight for someone 5’10” tall, even with my broad frame. Eating was one of the few pleasures in my life at that time.
As of this morning I am 180 lbs, the lowest weight I’ve been in 20 years. My goal is 172 lbs. I am not on a diet. I hate diets. Nor am I on a rigorous exercise program. I do what I enjoy. Fortunately I enjoy moving my body. We call it ‘self ‘care, but no one heals alone. We are evolutionarily hardwired for family, community, partner, nature and spiritual connection. When we lose any one of those connections we become more vulnerable to mental health issues, obesity, and the diseases related to obesity.
When I met my beloved Christina, my healing journey was on cruise control. Meeting her spurred me on to dig deep into childhood trauma. But it wasn’t just for myself. While we both had ragey, alcoholic fathers and emotionally distant mothers, hers was on a different level. So I need to be there for her and the only way I can do that is to be there fully for myself.
Since meeting Christina, I have been in regular counselling, both individual and couple. I found a spiritual community, learning the Lakota path. And I am making new friends in my new community of Nelson, British Columbia. But most importantly, I am finally giving myself permission to live my purpose and to love deeply and broadly. This is where true happiness lies, connection and doing what we’re meant to do. When all of that aligns there is no need to find solace in food or being a couch potato. If you’re seeking healing, please check out our offerings on our Divine Alchemy website.